REWOHS

What's the title mean? Is she speaking in tongues, you may ask? No, it reads SHOWER backwards. Have It & Snatch were so sure that our complaints about our mega-masticked shower were unjustified that they sent the manufacturer out to prove to us it was fit for purpose and had been put in perfectly. Unfortunately for the cowboy crew they failed to see that they'd fitted it back to front, upside down and over-masticked. Didn't anyone ever tell them that women, like customers, are always right? Incidentally, still no word from the construction company.

The HammEgg is performing well as long as the little cluckers face the right way to lay. Unfortunately one of them - and I haven't discovered who's the culprit yet - thinks it's funny to turn round and lay on the opposite side to the HammEgg. We've been getting at least one egg per day which is good but a little on the low side. However, this morning when I opened the Chicken Sty door, Victor legged it behind Boosh Barn, not even stopping for corn. She reappeared about five minutes later and pecked off to join the others making triumphant egg-laying noises. I had a look around and found a nest behind the eucalyptus tree with not one, not two, but three lovely brown eggs in it, one of which was still warm! Could be a new bestseller - menthol eggs.

Fifi's off darn Sarf to the head orifice tomorrow and I have my list of achievables, including an assignation in our Reverend Eden's churchyard with the funeral director, the aptly named Mr Pope........(a meeting to show him dad's headstone choice for mum, not because of my next op).