Moles, Eggs and Houdini Hounds

Well I'm still waiting to find out when I go in for surgery. The ward sister, when cancelling me, said it would be one to two weeks. The surgeon's secretary, when I rang to find out how long, got her answers from Catherine Tate - most responses to my questions were 'dunno'. She took the Medical Secretarys' 11th Commandment - though shalt be sadistic to the patient - to the Nth degree. So I went to see Doc Simon who said ring Admissions. I rang but was put through to the Medical Assessment Centre?! Who then put me through to the ward who said I had to speak to Attilla the Secretary again. I'm afraid I wimped it so they're going to speak to her and call me. Felt a bit guilty about that but she severely traumatised me...they did say I could complain about her but if I did I'd probably find a horse's head in my promised hospital bed.

Today I became an inventor. We've had five eggs in five days which is great, except they're laid from a great height from their perch. They've all survived intact apart from today's. Can't get them to lay where we want them to, not where they want to so today I created the HammEgg - a hammock slung below their perch to catch the egg(s - I'm being optimistic). I'll know tomorrow morning if it's worked.

Holly and Morris have excelled themselves today. The Houdini Hounds managed to get through the impenetrable dog gate at the bottom of the stairs - now known as the Maginot Line - then chased Biffur who launched himself onto the bedroom window sill, failed to stop then sailed on through the open window. Fortunately he's shaken, stirred but not broken. Unaware of the traumas they'd put Biffur through H & M brought us a gift, the most putrid mole in the world. It was dead, naturally.

Talking of moles, putrid or otherwise, we had a phone call instigated by Have It & Snatch, from the shower manufacturers. The stetson-wearing plumbers have passed the 'problem' on to them so they're coming out to inspect. I informed them that Have It & Snatch created the world mastic shortage. Still on the barn front, we have several snags that need de-snagging. Despite snail mailing, e-mailing and voice-mailing the construction company for the past fortnight we still haven't had any response so not sure when snags will be sorted. If ever.

Fiona's been working non-stop since rescinding her hols due to my non-op. In the office at dawn and at dusk and all hours in between. She's hosting the Oscars tomorrow night, yes really! OK, not in LA but at Whittlebury Hall so I'm going along for the ride (and to carry the bags I guess!). Still, I get to order room service!!