When is a plumber not a plumber?

When he's working on Boosh Barn of course -

"It's not a problem with Have-it & Scarper, pour plumbing's our speciality".

Unbelievable, that's all I can say about today's soap opera, well tap opera to be exact. We've had a problem with the bathroom tap; when it's turned on it sounds like there's a tube train pulling into the lounge.
Not a problem, says the plumber, you'll need a new tap.
Two and a half weeks later we get a new tap (obviously none on tap then).
All fixed, says the plumber and left.
But it wasn't so we rang him.
Ah, well, it's a mixer tap you see. But it's not a problem, all you have to do is run it on hot or cold, but not mix, oh, and have it on full blast and then it won't make the noise. It's how they're designed, see.
But we thought it was a mixer tap?
Yes but it's not a problem if you don't have it on mix.......Anyway, what do you expect us to do about it? We've put a new tap on.
Yes but it hasn't fixed the problem.
Not my problem says the friendly plumber as he scarpered back to Bolton.

Hmm, if they think we'll be pulling the plug on this one......................this is, after all, the same company that has flooded Boosh Barn not once, but twice (and almost three times!). Unbelievable.Good job the pups are keeping me sane. Better think about teaching them to swim though.